CAPTAINS LOG; THE END OF OUR VOYAGE. 
THAR BE NO PLACE LIKE HOME!!
WE LEFT SWANAGE WITH A BRISK WIND AND HEADED FOR OUR HOME PORT OF POOLE, GEORGE WALLIS AND A SCURVY CREW FROM SWANAGE ACCOMPANIED US ON THIS FINAL LEG. MOORED IN SWANAGE BAY WAS THE PELICAN AN IMPRESSIVE AND BEAUTIFUL TALL SHIP, CAP'N THE CREW SHOUTED, HAVE WE TIME TO BOARD ONE MORE VESSEL?
I PONDERED THIS FOR SEVERAL MINUTES AND THOUGHT OF THE PEOPLE THAT MAY BE WAITING FOR OUR RETURN, NAY I SAID WE MUST PRESS ON TO POOLE AS YOUR LOVED ONES MAY BE WAITING FOR YOU (I COULD NOT HELP BUT NOTICE THE LOOK OF DESPAIR BETWEEN HAPPY JOHN AND ROGER THE CABIN BOY).IT HAD BEEN A HARD VOYAGE AND WE HAVE ENDURED MANY MISHAPS I ONLY HOPE THAT THE PAIN OF CRUSHED NUT McCORMACK, THE STRESS THAT POOKY MOOKY ENDURED OVER HIS LOST NOO NOO,THE VEGEPHOBIA OF NO TOM RETT, THE CONTINUAL FLATULENCE OF CHURCHILL, AND THE SECRET LOVE OF HAPPY JOHN AND ROGER THE CABIN BOY HAVE BEEN WORTH IT. SEVERAL VESSELS FROM POOLE HAD COME TO JOIN US ON OUR LAST LEG AND AS WE APPROACHED THE WONDERFUL SIGHT OF OLD HARRY POOLES LIFE BOATS CAME INTO VIEW AND MUCH BANTER WAS EXCHANGED BETWEEN THEIRS AND ARRYPAYES CREW.
THE CLOSER WE GOT TO POOLE  HARBOUR MORE AND MORE VESSELS JOINED US INCLUDING THE VESSEL CORK MALT CAPTAINED BY THAT SCURVY RUM BA BA JENKINS WITH HIS PLAYMATE CREW OF ONE LEGGED WELFORD AND CLAIRIE DE WENCH.
I ALSO NOTICED CHILDREN ON HIS VESSEL AND HOPED THAT RUM BA BA AND ONE LEGGED HAD KEPT THEIR PASSION IN CHECK!
SUDDENLY I NOTICED VESSELS LAUNCHING FROM THE BEACH ON THE STARBOARD SIDE WAS THIS AN AMBUSH BY THE SPANISH FLEET? OR CUSTOMS AND EXCISE? NAY TWAS NEITHER, TWAS TWO VESSELS FROM POOLE ROWING CLUB JOINING OUR FLOTILLA. SOON WE COULD SEE THE QUAY SIDE AND WE WHERE MOVED BY THE SIGHT OF SO MANY OF THE GOOD PEOPLE OF POOLE WAITING TO GREET US, TWAS MIDDAY AND HORNS AND CLAXTON'S AND CHEERS ANNOUNCED OUR ARRIVAL TWAS A SOBERING SIGHT!
I AS CAPTAIN KEPT MY COMPOSURE AND DID NOT LET THE TEARS OF EMOTION FLOW, WE'VE DONE IT THOUGHT I AND I WAS SO PROUD OF MY MOTLEY CREW. AS WE PULLED INTO THE MARINA THERE WHERE SO MANY WELL WISHERS AND THE LOOK OF PRIDE ON MY CREWS FACES WAS PRICELESS!
THE SOCIETY OF POOLE MEN WHERE WAITING ON THE GANG PLANK TO GREET US ALONG WITH OUR TOWNS MAYOR AND THE FEELING OF PRIDE JUST KEPT GROWING.
ROGER THE CABIN BOY WAS THROWN IN THE QUAY AS IS TRADITION (THE REAL REASON BEING THAT HE HADN'T WASHED FOR THE WHOLE VOYAGE AND WE FELT IT WASN'T FARE TO LET THE PUBLIC EXPERIENCE THIS).
AS WE HEADED TO THE JOLLY SAILOR FOR A WELL DESERVED BEER WE NOTICED CAP'N LA LA KELLAWAY AND 1ST MATE PUP IN THE CROWD 'YOO HOO, HELLO SAILORS' THEY WHERE SCREAMING WITH DELIGHT!
WE WHERE ALSO RE UNITED WITH OUR SCURVY GROUP OF TRAVELLING GROUPIES, THAR BE 'GIVE US A GO JIM MURPHY', 'I'M AVAILABLE TOO SQUIRES' AND BOTH THEIR LOVELY BUXOM WENCHES!
THERE ARE SO MANY SEADOGS AND LAND LUBBERS TO MENTION AND THANK AND I APOLOGISE NOW IF I MISS ANY!
THIS VOYAGE COULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED WITHOUT THE HELP AND SUPPORT OF SO MANY PEOPLE;
 
CAPTAIN ROD RUM BA BA JENKINS.
ONE LEGGED WELFORD.
CAPTAIN LA LA KELLAWAY.
CHRIS YE LAND TRAIN BULLEN.
TO TALL MATTY SEWELL.
DAVE LETS AVE A PINT LOCK.
GAY RAY.
SWANAGE ROWING CLUB.
POOLE ROWING CLUB.
BUSTY FOSTER BAZIN.
THE SCURVY CREW AND UNDERSTANDING PARTNERS.
ALL OF OUR SPONSORS.
THE PIRATES OF POOLE.
AND MOST OF ALL HARRY 'PAYE' WITH OUT WHOM THE PIRATES OF POOLE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN FORMED!
I ALSO WISH TO THANK THE PEOPLE OF POOLE FOR THEIR SUPPORT AND GENEROSITY.
FROM CAPTAIN LONG GONE I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A SPECIAL MENTION FOR MY WIFE 'KAREN HAS TO PUT UP WITH LONG GONE LAMBERT' WHO HAS DONE THIS TRIP WITH US AND ENDURED MANY MONTHS OF SUFFERING WITH THE CAP'N WHILE HE PLANNED THIS VOYAGE.
WHAT'S NEXT I HEAR YE ASK, THAT BE A SECRET AT THE MOMENT BUT BE ASSURED THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING AND LONG GONE AND THE CREW OF ARRYPAYE WILL ONCE MORE TAKE TO THE HIGH SEAS!

     
    

 

CAPTAINS LOG DAY 16 - MAY 30TH 2010
WELL ME HEARTIES THE FINAL DAY OF OUR VOYAGE IS UPON US, NONE OF MY SCURVY CREW HAVE KILLED EACH OTHER AND ALL IS LOOKING WELL FOR THE FINAL PUSH INTO OUR BELOVED PORT OF POOLE.
I WOULD LIKE TO SAY A HEARTY THANKS TO SWANAGE ROWING CLUB FOR ALLOWING US TO ATTEND THEIR REGATTA AND TO WAREHAM COURT LEET FOR COMING DOWN AND ACCEPTING OUR SCROLL OF APOLOGY.
THERE HAD BEEN RUMOURS THAT MY CREW WHERE NOT HAPPY THAT THEIR BELOVED CAPTAIN HAD ENTERED THEM INTO A GIG RACE YESTERDAY AS THEY WHERE VERY HUNGOVER AND THOUGHT WE'D BE HUMILIATED, BUT AS ALWAYS YOU SHOULD NEVER UNDERESTIMATE ARRYPAYE AND HER CREW AS WE ACHIEVED 3rd PLACE!!!!!!!!
EVEN THE RAIN AND WIND COULDN'T DAMPEN THE SPIRITS OF MY CREW AS MUCH DRINKING ENSUED FOR THE REST OF THE EVENING.
I AS CAPTAIN OF THIS FINE VESSEL AM LOOKING FORWARD TO RETURNING HOME WITH THIS FINE BODY OF SOCIAL MISFITS I PROUDLY CALL MY CREW, WE ARE EXPECTING THE ARRIVAL OF CAP,N RUM BA BA JENKINS SHORTLY TO ACCOMPANY US ON THIS FINAL LEG.
WE HAVE HAD NO NEWS OF CAP'N LA LA KELLAWAY LATELY AND FEAR THAT HE AND FIRST MATE PUP MAY HAVE RUN OF INTO THE FOREST TOGETHER TO GATHER BLACKBERRIES AND MAKE DAISY CHAINS!
NO TOM RETT KNOW BE KNOW AS TUMBLE RETT AS HE IMPRESSED ALL THIS MORNING WITH HIS DARING ACROBATIC SKILLS AS HE FELL OUT OF THE BACK OF OUR SUPPORT VAN. ONE CONCERN WE ALL HAVE IS THAT WHILST WAITING TO LEAVE THE CAMPSITE THIS MORNING HAPPY JOHN AND ROGER THE CABIN BOY COULD NOT BE FOUND, LATER THEY APPEARED FROM A NEARBY COPSE AND WE ALL NEW THAT THEY WHERE NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO RETURNING TO POOLE AND BEING APART!
CRUSHED NUT McCORMACK HAS UPSET THE CREW DUE TO REVEALING CRISP CLEAN CLOTHES TO ROW INTO POOLE IN AFTER 2 WEEKS OF WEARING KIT THAT SMELT LIKE TWO DOZEN ROTTEN MACKEREL IN A HOT GREENHOUSE! BUT THE GOOD THING IS THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN AGES THE CLOUD OF BLUEBOTTLES THAT HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING HIM HAVE DISPERSED.
POOKY MOOKY CAN'T WAIT TO GET BACK TO POOLE,WASH HIS NOO NOO AND SURPRISE,SURPRISE GET SOMETHING TO EAT!!!!!!
CHURHILL WILL BE GOING STRAIGHT TO CASUALTY ON OUR RETURN AS IT APPEARS THAT DURING HIS SLEEP HE ATTEMPTED TO EAT HIS OWN TOES!
I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO SPENDING SOME QUALITY TIME WITH TIMMY THE TURTLE MY SPECIAL FRIEND AND NOT DRINKING ANY MORE SEA WATER!!!
I FEAR THAT THERE IS ONLY ONE MORE ENTRY TO GO IN THE LOG OF ARRYPAYES FIRST VOYAGE AND MY CREW WILL DISPERSE AND AVOID ME FOR MANY YEARS TO COME, BUT I SHALL UPDATE YE LATER WITH NEWS OF OUR ARRIVAL IN POOLE.
YOURS TOTALLY BARKING MAD, CAP'N LONG GONE AND BEYOND HELP LAMBERT. 

CAPTAINS LOG THE MORNING OF DAY 15 - 29TH MAY 2010.
TIS THE MORN OF YE SWANAGE REGATTA AND THE CREW ARE AS FIT AND ABLE AS A CONSTIPATED DUCK WITH A MISSING LEG, BROKEN WINGS AND FISH HOOKS IN ITS EYES! AFTER A NIGHT OF CELEBRATING CRUSHED NUT McCORMACKS 101st BIRTHDAY MY MOTLEY CREW ARE LOOKING SOMEWHAT BEDRAGGLED. I AS THE STAUNCH,UPRIGHT,RESPECTED AND BELOVED CAPTAIN THAT LEADS BY EXAMPLE AND HIS CREW WOULD GLADLY SACRIFICE THEIR OWN LIVES FOR, REMAINED SOBER AND OBSERVED THE BEHAVIOUR OF MY CREW WHO HAVE NOW SPENT MANY DAYS AT SEA AND WHERE ENJOYING SOME REST AND RECUPERATION WITH THE LOCALS OF SWANAGE. WELL MOST OF THE CREW WHERE, CRUSHED NUT McCORMACK WHOS 122nd BIRTHDAY WAS BEING CELEBRATED HAD TO BE ESCORTED BACK TO THE CAMPSITE AT A RATHER EARLY TIME OF THE NIGHT AS THE LOCAL BREW SEEMED TO HAVE GOT THE BETTER OF HIM. LUCKILY WE HAD TWO VISITORS FROM OUR HOME PORT, SILVER BACK BRIAN BENNETT AND ANDY CLEAN SHAVEN ALNER TOOK CRUSHED NUT BACK TO CAMP AND PUT HIM DOWN FOR SLEEPY POOHS! THE CREW, COMRADES THAT THEY ARE STAYED OUT TILL THE EARLY HOURS OF THE MORNING.
AS I MAKE THIS MORNING ENTRY GUESS WHERE POOKY MOOKY IS............YOU GOT IT.......EATING AGAIN!!!!
ALL OF THE CREW ARE SO EXCITED ABOUT RACING TODAY AND CAN'T THANK ME ENOUGH FOR ENTERING ARRYPAYE IN TODAYS REGATTA.
I FEEL I NEED TO MAKE THIS EARLY MORNING ENTRY AS I HAVE SEEN SOME BAD OMENS ON THE HORIZON AND ALTHOUGH I HAVE NO DOUBT OF MY CREWS SAFETY I DO HOWEVER FEAR FOR MINE!
I SHALL UPDATE YE ALL SHORTLY WITH HOW ARRYPAYE GETS ON. OR SHOULD MY WORST FEARS COME TO FRUITION CHECK OUT SWANAGE ROWING CLUBS WEB SITE!
YOURS ABOUT TO BE HUNG,DRAWN AND QUARTERED,
CAP'N LONG GONE ROUND THE TWIST LAMBERT.   

CAPTAINS LOG DAY 14 - MAY 28TH 2010
WELL SHIVER ME TIMBERS! YESTERDAY THE SEA SHOWED WHAT A CRUEL MISTRESS SHE CAN BE. WE LEFT LULWORTH ON ROUTE TO CHAPMANS POOL WHEN SHE TURNED ON ARRYPAYE AND HER CREW. CAP,N RODNEY RUM BA BA JENKINS COMMANDER OF THE CORK MALT SAFETY BOAT CAME ALONGSIDE AND ADVISED US TO LENGTHEN OUR VOYAGE AND PRESS ON TO SWANAGE. FOR SEVERAL HOURS WE BATTLED THROUGH ROUGH SEAS WITH SEVERAL WAVES COMING OVER THE GUNNELS AND ONE VERY LARGE ONE OVER OUR BOW CAUSING ROGER THE CABIN BOY TO MAN THE BILGE PUMPS. BUT SCURVY SEA DOGS THAT WE ARE WE BATTLED THROUGH WITH ONLY ONE OTHER SERIOUS INCIDENT, AFTER SEVERAL DAYS OF INTENSIVE CARE CRUSHED NUT McCORMACK HAD BEEN FEELING MUCH BETTER AFTER HIS TUSSLE WITH A TOILET SEAT IN PORTLAND, BUT HALFWAY THROUGH YESTERDAYS VOYAGE A HIGH PITCHED SCREAM CAME FROM OUR BOAT AS HE EXCLAIMED THAT HIS OAR HAD CAUGHT A WAVE AND STRUCK HIS STARBOARD GONAD! I FEAR THAT AS TODAY IS HIS 60th BIRTHDAY HIS CELEBRATING MAY BE SOMEWHAT HINDERED BY THE THREE KILOS OF CRUSHED ICE HE IS CARRYING IN HIS SILVER LAME'S POSING POUCH!
WHEN WE EVENTUALLY ARRIVED IN SWANAGE WE WHERE MET BY A CREW FROM SWANAGE ROWING CLUB ABOARD DANCING LEDGE, WE OFFERED THE USE OF THEIR BOATSHED FOR THE NIGHT AND MADE MOST WELCOME.
AFTER BIDDING FAREWELL AND THANKYOU TO CAP,N RUM BA BA JENKINS WHO WAS RETURNING TO POOLE DUE TO THE FACT THAT HAPPY JOHN VINE REFUSED TO PLAY NAKED TWISTER ABOARD CORK MALT, WE STRUNG OUR HAMMOCKS READY FOR SLEEPY BYES AND DECIDED TO HAVE THE B.B.Q ON SWANAGE SEAFRONT AS POOKY MOOKY WAS HUNGRY AGAIN!
TODAY WE HAVE BEEN TRAINING IN SWANAGE BAY AS SOME MAD IDIOT HAS ENTERED ARRYPAYE INTO TOMORROWS SWANAGE REGGATA, FOR THE CREW ARE SO PLEASED ABOUT AND HATE THEIR BELOVED CAPTAIN EVEN MORE! TONIGHT WE CELEBRATE CRUSHED NUT McCORMACKS 70th BIRTHDAY AND SHALL PROBABLY BE NURSING SEVERE HANGOVERS TOMORROW!
I WOULD LIKE TO ADD A NOTE OF THANKS TO CHURCHILL GREG RAMSEY FOR TAKING CHARGE OF LAST NIGHTS B.B.Q.
I SHOULD ALSO LIKE TO ADD I HAVE VIDEO FOOTAGE OF CAP'N RUM BA BA JENKINS STRUTTING HIS FUNKY STUFF ON THE DANCE FLOOR IN LULWORTH, THIS IS NOT FOR THE FAINTHEARTED AND IS A AVAILABLE TO ANYONE FOR A SMALL DONATION TO OUR CHARITY FUND.
I SHALL UPDATE YE LANDLUBBERS TOMORROW.
YOURS LOOSING THE PLOT,
CAPTAIN LONG GONE LAMBERT AND TIMMY THE TURTLE MY SPECIAL FRIEND!
 

CAPTAINS LOG DAY 13 P.S
OH THE JOY! JUST HAD WORD FROM CAP'N LA LA KELLAWAY THAT LAST NIGHT AFTER OUR EVENINGS ENTERTAINMENT SCURVY JENKINS TOOK LA LA AND PUP BACK TO THEIR BOAT AND THEN RETURNED TO HIS BOAT THE CORK MALT OR SO HE THOUGHT, TRUTH IS SCURVY JENKINS WAS A TAD TIDDLEY EYEPIED AND ATTEMPTED TO BOARD THE WRONG BOAT!
OH HOW HAPPY IT MAKES ME TO HEAR THAT SCURVY JENKS IS A BIT OF A SHANDY PANTS! FROM NOW ON E BE KNOW AS RUM BA BA JENKS!!!!
OTHER GOSSIP JUST IN LA LA AND PUP SEA DOGS THAT THEY ARE RIGGED UP THEIR ANCHOR LIGHT BUT FORGOT TO SWITCH IT ON! I FEAR THE WORST IF THE SPANISH FLEET EVER CATCHES UP WITH US!

 

CAPTAINS LOG DAY 13 - MAY 27TH 2010
I PUT ENTRY IN YE LOG BEFORE WE ROW TODAY AS THAR BE NO SIGNAL FROM OUR NEXT POINT OF CALL AND THE TWO CARRIER PIGEONS WHICH HAD AT THE START OF OUR VOYAGE WHERE EATEN SEVERAL DAYS AGO BY POOKY MOOKY WHO SURPRISE, SURPRISE SAID HE WAS SORRY BUT HE WAS VERY HUNGRY. TODAY WE BE RESTOCKING OUR SUPPLIES AND HEADING FOR CHAPMANS POOL WHERE WE BE HAVING A B.B.Q AND SOME TEAM BUILDING FUN(I THINK THIS  BE NEEDED AS THAT SCURVY ROD JENKINS HAS BEEN SPREADING RUMOURS ABOUT THEIR BELOVED CAPTAIN THAT COULD IF NOT NIPPED IN THE BUD CAUSE MY CREW TO MUTINY). CAP'N LA LA KELLAWAY AND FIRST MATE PUP ARE RETURNING TO OUR HOME PORT OF POOLE TODAY AS THERE IS A RUMOUR THAT B.H.S ARE DOING A DEAL ON HIS AND HERS BATHROOM SETS!
GOSSIP MONGER ROD JENKINS JOINED US FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING AND IS DUE TO JOIN US ON THE BEACH TONIGHT, HE IS UNAWARE OF MY KNOWLEDGE OF HIS MISCHIEVOUS GOSSIPING AND MY PLANS TO SEEK REVENGE.
ALL THE CREW ARE IN GOOD SPIRITS AFTER LAST NIGHTS ENTERTAINMENT HOSTED BY DAVE AT THE LULWORTH COVE INN, THERE WAS A B.B.Q AND MUSIC PERFORMED BY GROOVE BROTHERS(DAVE THE LANDLORD PERFORMED FOR US BY SINGING MAD WORLD VERY BADLY BUT WE ALL CHEERED AND CLAPPED FOR FEAR OF NOT GETTING BREAKFAST IN THE MORNING). THE LOCALS WHERE VERY FRIENDLY AND A GREAT TIME WAS HAD BY ALL!
WE ARE GETTING NEAR THE END OF OUR VOYAGE NOW AND WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO BEING AT SWANAGE REGATTA ON SATURDAY AND SEEING SOME NEW FRIENDS WE HAVE MADE ON ROUTE WHO WILL BE TAKING PART IN THE DAYS EVENTS.
I FEEL I MUST KEEP AN EYE ON HAPPY(THIS SHOULD BE MOANING)JOHN VINE AS HE AND CAP'N JENKINS CAN BE SEEN WHISPERING IN DARK CORNERS, IS THIS PARANOIA OR IS SCURVY ROD GROOMING HIS NEW PLAYMATE?
I KNOW WE MUST TAKE ON MUCH FOOD IN ORDER TO KEEP POOKY MOOKY AND CHURCHILL APPEASED AND ROGER THE CABIN BOY IS FAR MORE RELAXED AS HAPPY JOHN IS SPENDING MORE TIME WITH SCURVY JENKINS.CRUSHED NUT McCORMACK INFORMS US THAT EVERYTHING IS BACK TO ITS NORMAL SIZE AND NO TOM RETT WILL BE HAPPY THAT WE ARE DOING SOME FISHING TODAY.
WE HAVE ROWED OVER 200 MILES NOW AND I HAVE JUST SEVERAL DAYS TO KEEP THIS MOTLEY CREW TOGETHER UNTIL WE REACH POOLE AND THEY CAN RETURN TO THEIR LOVED ONES, AFTER SPENDING NEARLY TWO WEEKS WITH THIS CREW I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF THEIR LOVED ONES HAVEN'T TAKEN THIS OPPORTUNITY TO MOVE OR AT LEAST CHANGE THE LOCKS!
I AM GOING DOWN TO THE BEACH NOW TO SPEAK TO MY NEW FRIEND TIMMY TURTLE AS I AM A BIT UPSET AT THE CREWS ACCUSATIONS THAT I AM LOOSING MY MIND.
YOURS A TAD CONCERNED, CAP,N LONG GONE.  

     

CAPTAINS LOG DAY 12 - MAY 26TH 2010
THAT ALCOHOL BE EVIL BREW!
ALL OF THE CREW ARE WORSE FOR WEAR AFTER A NIGHT OF WINE AND SONG AT THE KINGS ARMS IN WEYMOUTH.
ROBIN AND PETER HAVE A TRULY WICKED PUB AND ALONG WITH JENNY AND HER CREW OF PIRATES FROM FREEDOM AND FINNIAN McGURK(ALIAS ROXY)WITH HIS MAD SIDEKICK 'SLAPPY I LOVE TO SHOW MY CHEST TO THE LADIES' WE WHERE THOROUGHLY ENTERTAINED ALL NIGHT AND RAISED LOADS MORE PIECES OF EIGHT FOR CHARITY. ALL THE CREW HAD A TAD TO MUCH TO DRINK AND CRUSHED NUT McCORMACK SWUNG INTO ACTION WITH THE LOCAL LADIES (WHICH IN ITSELF WAS EXTREMELY AMUSING), ALAS HE STILL ENDED UP BUNKED UP WITH THE REST OF THE CREW.
POOKY MOOKY, HAPPY JOHN AND ROGER THE CABIN BOY ALL HAD SILLY GRINS ON THEIR FACES AND JOINED IN WITH THE SINGING, LUCKILY THEY DIDN'T ATTEMPT THE DANCE MOVES OF CRUSHED NUT!
NO TOM RETT MANAGED TO CONTINUE PILLAGING THE LOCALS OF THIS HOSTELRY IN A RATHER TIDDLY EYEPIED STATE AND I AS CAPTAIN REMAINED REGAL IN STATURE DESPITE CONSUMING FAR TO MANY SAILOR JERRYS.
MOST OF WEYMOUTH WAS KEPT AWAKE BY NO TOM RETTS SNORING, EVEN CAP'N LA LA KELLAWAY AND FIRST MATE PUP ON ONE OF THE SUPPORT BOATS COMMENTED THAT MOST OF THE MARINA WHERE LOOKING AROUND TO SEE IF THERE WAS A HERD OF WILDEBEEST SLEEPING NEARBY.
THE NEXT LEG OF OUR VOYAGE IS TO LULWORTH COVE SO WE SET OUT A LITTLE LATER AS WE ALL CONTRACTED SOME SORT OF BUG THAT GAVE US HEADACHES AND A FEELING OF NAUSEA AT THE THOUGHT OF ALCOHOL. WE HAD A HEARTY BREAKFAST IN THE KINGS ARMS AND AFTER SOME PRE TRIP MAINTENANCE WE BID FAREWELL TO WEYMOUTH AND ROWED OUT INTO CHOPPY WATERS AND WHERE ALL STILL FEELING SLIGHTLY POORLY! WE WHERE PLEASED TO SEE THAT AFTER BABYSITTING CAP'N LA LA KELLAWAY AND PUP LAST NIGHT THEY HAD GONE SHOPPING THIS MORNING AND BOUGHT HIS AND HERS MATCHING BANDANAS AND RUMOUR HAS IT THEY ALSO HAVE TREATED EACH OTHER TO A SOAP ON A ROPE!
SCURVY ROD JENKINS IN THE MAIN SUPPORT VESSEL SUDDENLY WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH THE CREW AS HE HAS NO PLAYMATE ABOARD CORK MALT SINCE ONE LEGGED WELFORD RETURNED TO LAND AFTER CONTRACTING A MILD CASE OF THE BUBONIC PLAGUE.
WE LANDED AT LULWORTH AND WHERE MET ON THE BEACH BY SOME TRAINEE PIRATES WHO WILL BE SURE TO BE MOST FORMIDABLE SEA DOGS IN A FEW YEARS TIME.
WE WHERE ALSO MET BY DAVE FROM THE LULWORTH COVE INN WHERE TONIGHT WE BE FEASTING AND PARTAKING IN SOME ''ALCOHOL'' FREE REFRESHMENTS(I ALSO LIE LIKE A CHEAP JAPANESE WATCH!)
I WILL REPORT TO YE ALL TOMORROW ABOUT OUR EVENINGS GOINGS ON, THERE IS A WHISPER ON DECK THAT LA LA AND PUP COULD BE ANNOUNCING THEIR ENGAGEMENT! WE'D BE SURE TO HAVE A FEW RUMS IF THAT BE TRUE!
YOURS LOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER AT ALL TIMES, CAP'N LONG GONE LAMBERT.  

CAPTAINS LOG DAY 11 - MAY 25TH 2010
AYE TWAS A NIGHT TO BE REMEMBERED IN PORTLAND NOT ONLY WE WHERE WE FED AND WATERED IN THE ROYAL BREAKWATER HOTEL FOR WHICH I'D LIKE TO SAY A BIG THANKYOU TO BOB THE LANDLORD FOR HIS HOSPITALITY AND FOR THE RAFFLE HE RAN FOR US, PORTLAND COURT LEET CAME DOWN TO RECIEVE A SCROLL OF APOLOGY FROM THE PIRATES AND GOBSMACKED US WHEN THEY PRESENTED US WITH A CHEQUE FOR £500! FOR WHICH WE ARE MOST GRATEFUL AND CAN'T THANK THEM ENOUGH.
UNCLE ALBERT STAYED UP DRINKING TO THE EARLY HOURS OF THE MORNING FULL OF BELIEF THAT HIS SINGING WAS ENTERTAINING THE LOCALS, IF IT WAS PLEASURABLE TO THEM THEY ARE EASILY PLEASED!
IT WAS A SHORT ROW TO WEYMOUTH TODAY BUT THE WIND  HAD GOTTEN STRONGER AND BEFORE WE LEFT TRAGEDY STRUCK WHEN UNCLE ALBERT HAD A RUN IN WITH A TOILET SEAT, HE IS NOW KNOWN AS CRUSHED NUT McCORMACK THE PIRATE!
ALL THE CREW WHERE STILL ACHING AND TIRED FROM THE PREVIOUS DAYS ROW BUT WE SET OFF ON THE NEXT LEG OF OUR VOYAGE ONLY TO BE AMBUSHED AT THE NORTH HARBOUR ENTRANCE BY THE PIRATES OF WEYMOUTH ARMED WITH WATER BOMBS AND A FLOTILLA OF BOATS INCLUDING FREEDOM A LOCAL CHARITY RUN BOAT FOR THE DISABLED AND TWO BOATS FROM THE R.N.L.I.
WE WHERE ESCORTED INTO WEYMOUTH ALONG WITH THAT SCALLYWAG CAP'N JENKINS AND THAT MYSTERY OF NATURE CAP'N LA LA KELLAWAY.
WE SOON ARRIVED AT THE KINGS ARMS WHERE UPON A VERY LOUD REDCOAT DEMANDED WE PAY TAX AND INTRODUCE OURSELVES, OF COURSE WE REFUSED BEING THE FEARLESS PIRATES THAT WE ARE SO HE OPENED FIRE WITH HIS MUSKET AT WHICH POINT WE THOUGHT IT BEST TO TELL HIM WHO WE ARE AND BUY HIM A DRINK!
JENNY AND HER MOTLEY BAND OF WEYMOUTH PIRATES HAD ARRANGED MUCH JOVIAL FUN AND FROLICS ON THE QUAYSIDE AND PETER AT THE KINGS ARMS HELD A CHARITY B.B.Q. FOR US PIRATES. THE LADY MAYORESS CAME DOWN TO MEET US AND LATER TO NIGHT WE BE SINGING AND A JIGGING TO THAT MAD FINNIAN McGURK IN THE PUB.
CHURCHILL HAD TO FIND SOME DRY CLOTHES AS THOSE VARMITS IN WEYMOUTH MADE HIM WALK THE PLANK, ROGER THE CABIN BOY IS STILL RECOVERING FROM SHARING A ROOM WITH NEVER HAPPY JOHN VINE AND POOKY MOOKY, NON TOM RETT MADE IT THROUGH BREAKFAST WITHOUT BEING ATTACKED OR STARTLED BY A PORTLAND TOMATOE AND CRUSHED NUT McCORMACK IS STILL TRANSPORTING A BAG OF FROZEN PEAS IN HIS PEPPA  PIG BOXER SHORTS!
WE ALSO LOST CAP,N JENKINS PLAYMATE TODAY ONE LEGGED WELFORD SO WE THINK TOMORROW THE SAFETY BOAT MAY ACTUALLY PAY ATTENTION TO ARRYPAYE AND HER CREW AS CAP'N JENKINS NO LONGER HAS ANY BODY ABOARD HIS BOAT TO PLAY NAKED TWISTER WITH ANY MORE!
TONIGHT FOR A CHANGE WE WILL BE DRINKING IN AND PILLAGING THE TOWN OF WEYMOUTH BUT WILL ALSO BE KEEPING AN EYE ON THE CREW OF OUR OTHER SUPPORT BOAT AS WE HAVE HAD REPORTS FROM SOURCES MOST RELIABLE THAT DURING SUNDAY EVENING WHILST THE ARRYPAYE AND HER CREW WHERE IN LYME REGIS CAP'N LA LA KELLAWAY AND 1st MATE PUP WHERE SEEN RUNNING NAKED AROUND PORTLAND BILL WEARING NOTHING BUT OPEN TOED KNITTED WELLIES AND A DIVERS HELMET SHOUTING 'CHASE ME, CHASE ME WHERE ARE ALL THE BUCCANEERS?' WE ARE NOT SURE IF THIS IS DOWN TO THE SALT AIR OR THE EMPTY BOTTLE OF PORT WE DISCOVERED ON HIS BOAT.
WE UPDATE YE TOMORROW, CAP'N LONG GONE.  

         

         

       

 

    

 

Hello Pirates!

 

I took these photos as you were leaving Cadgwith the other day. They're not brilliant, but I thought you might like to have them as part of the record of your exploits.

 

Hope the row is going well.

 

Kind regards

Bruce Dalgleish

   

 CAPTAINS LOG DAY 10 - MAY 24TH 2010
WELL WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT LYME REGIS AND THEIR GIG CLUB?
MARCUS, HIS WIFE, THE GIG CLUB, THE HARBOUR INN AND THE LOCALS MADE MYSELF AND MY CREW FEEL SO WELCOME AND MARK AT THE HARBOUR INN FED US LIKE KINGS. WE WHERE ENTERTAINED AND PARTOOK IN SOME GOOD OLD SHANTY SINGING. NOT ONLY DID  THEY ROW OUT TO MEET US IN THEIR STUNNING BOATS REBEL AND BLACK VEN, THEY ALSO CAME DOWN AND ROWED OUT WITH US THIS MORNING.
SO AFTER A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP WE SET OFF ON THE NEXT LEG OF OUR VOYAGE A 30 MILE ROW TO PORTLAND, WE HAD A NEW CREWMAN ABOARD CAP'N JENKINS SAFETY BOAT A STRANGE LOOKING FELLOW BY THE NAME OF ONE LEG WELFORD, AT FIRST WE WHERE PLEASED THAT CAP,N JENKINS HAD SOME COMPANY ON HIS YACHT BY SOON REALISED THAT NOW HE HAD A NEW PLAYMATE WE WHERE PRETTY MUCH PUSHED ASIDE AS OUR SO CALLED SAFETY BOAT 'CORK MALT' SAILED ON AHEAD OF US OBLIVIOUS OF THE FACT THAT THE CREW OF THE ARRYPAYE WHERE BEING RAVAGED BY THE HEAT OF THE SUN AND DRAWING STRAWS TO SEE WHICH OF THE CREW WE WOULD EAT AT LUNCHTIME. LUCKILY THE CAP,N AND POOKY MOOKY SECURED SOME MACKEREL AND WE ALL HAD SUSCHI FOR LUNCH AS CHURCHILL HAPPEND TO HAVE SOY SAUCE AND A LEMON IN HIS SEA BAG.
UNCLE ALBERT AT FIRST REFUSED TO TRY IT SAYING THAT HE WASN'T IN A SURVIVAL SITUATION BUT HE SOON REALISED THAT IF HE DIDN'T TRY SOME WE WOULD RIP THE *%$* OUT OF HIM ALL DAY, SO HE RELUCTANTLY TRIED IT AND WASN'T IMPRESSED!
HAPPY JOHN VINE DIDN'T LIVE UP TO HIS NAME TODAY AS HE DID NOTHING BUT MOAN AND GROAN ALL DAY LONG, IF HE DOESN'T BUCK HIS IDEAS UP HE WILL BE WALKING THE PLANK IN WEYMOUTH.
NO TOM RETT, ROGER THE CABIN BOY,UNCLE ALBERT,HAPPY JOHN,POOKY MOOKY AND CHURCHILL WHERE A STERLING CREW TODAY AS THIS WAS OUR HARDEST ROW TO DATE BUT WE ALL REALISED THAT THE HORSE WORMING TABLETS WE SLIPPED IN POOKY MOOKYS FOOD DIDN'T WORK AS HE IS STILL COMPLAINING THAT HE IS ALWAYS HUNGRY!
WE HAVE ALSO HAD WORD THAT CAP,N KELLAWAY AND HIS FIRST MATE PUP HAVE BEEN SIGHTED IN PORTLAND AND PROVIDED THEY ARE NOT TIDDLY EYEPIED WE MAY SEE THEM TONIGHT AT THE ROYAL BREAKWATER HOTEL IF THEY DO NOT APPEAR WE WILL CHECK THE LOCAL POLICE STATIONS AND TRY TO ARRANGE BAIL.
TONIGHT WE MEET WITH PORTLAND COURT LEET AND WILL BE HAVING A TOT OF RUM OR TWO!
WILL UPDATE YE LATER,CAP'N LONG GONE SUNBURNED LAMBERT. 

CAPTAINS LOG DAY 9 - 23RD MAY 2010
WAS NOT THE BEST MORNING FOR MORALE AS I STAYED AWAKE MOST OF THE NIGHT GUARDING ARRYPAYE WHILE MY MOTLEY CREW GOT A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP OR SO I THOUGHT, BUT WHEN I MET UP WITH THEM IN THE MORNING IT TURNS OUT THAT THE NATIVES OF EXMOUTH KEPT MY CREW AWAKE DURING DARKNESS AS THEY CONSUME THIS STRANGE LIQUID CALLED STELLA AND TURN IN TO TOTAL MADMEN DEVOID OF ANY RESEMBELENCE OF THEIR FORMER SELVES!
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT OUR SLEEPLESS NIGHT BECAUSE IT WAS YET ANOTHER GLORIUOS SUNNY DAY AS WE STARTED THE NEXT LEG OF OUR VOYAGE FROM EXMOUTH TO LYME REGIS.
THE CREW AND I ARE STARTING TO SHOW CONCERN FOR THE MISSING VESSEL OF CAPTAIN LA LA KELLAW  AND HIS SIDE KICK PUP,WE LAST SAW THIS SCURVY SEA DOG ON OUR WAY TO EXMOUTH AND HOPE HE HAS NOT COME ACROSS THE SPANISH FLEET OR COME A CROPPER ON THE ROCKS! THE MOST PROBABLE ANSWER IS THAT THEY ARE ANCHORED UP AND SLIGHTLY TIDDLEY EYEPIED AS CAP'N KELLAWAY WON A BOTTLE OF PORT ON THE RAFFLE IN DARTMOUTH.
BEFORE WE LEFT PORT WE ENSURED A GOOD SUPPLY OF WATER AND STOCKED UP ON CIGARETTES AND OTHER ESSENTIALS AND HEADED OUT UNDER THAT MERCILESS SUN.
IT  WAS A HARD ROW TODAY AS THE LACK OF SLEEP AND THE HEAT WAS TAKING ITS TOLL ON ALL OF THE CREW, THE ONLY PERSON WHO SEEMED TO COPE WAS ROGER THE CABIN BOY WHO SAT THERE CASUALY STEERING AND SOAKING UP THE SUN.(HE WILL SURELY PAY FOR THIS AT A LATER DATE AND WILL BE FLOGGED WITH A FRESHLY CAUGHT POLLOCK, THAT IS IF POOKY MOOKY EVER CATCHES ANY MORE FISH).
HAPPY JOHN VINE IS PUSHING HIS LUCK LATELY AND MAY FIND HIMSELF BEING FLOGGED BUT I FEAR HE WOULD ENJOY THIS RATHER THAN CONSIDER IT A PUNISHMENT!
UNCLE ALBERT WAS VERY SUBDUDE TODAY I FEAR THIS MAY BE DUE TO THE HEAT AND NOT BEING CLOSE ENOUGH TO THE BEACH FOR HIM TO BE ABLE TO CONVERSE WITH THE LADIES WITH HIS FREESTYLE LANGUAGE OF LOVE.
BUT THE MOOD LIFTED AS WE APPROACHED LYME REGIS AND 2 CREWS FROM THE LOCAL GIG CLUB ROWED OUT TO MEET US, WE WHERE SOON LANDING ON THE BEACH AND WHERE GREETED BY A LOCAL CALLED MARCUS AND MADE MOST WELCOME.
TONIGHT WE BE AT THE HARBOUR INN AND ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO A PLEASENT EVENING.
 I SHALL UPDATE YE TOMORROW WITH TALES OF BRAVERY AND DARING AS WE HAVE A CUNNING PLAN TO SCUPPER THAT SCURVY ROD JENKINS WHO HAS RECENTLY BEEN TAUNTING MYSELF AND MY CREW, HE WILL LIVE TO REGRET THE DAY HE HE MADE A JOKE AT THE EXPENCE OF ARRYPAYE AND HER CREW WHO BY THE WAY ARE GETTING SOME TERRIFIC SUNTANS, YOURS EXHAUSTED, CAP'N LONG GONE LAMBERT. 

CAPTAINS LOG DAY 8  -  22ND MAY 2010
SHIVER ME TIMBERS WHAT A TERRIFIC NIGHT AT DARTMOUTH ROWING CLUB, US PIRATES WOULD LIKE TO SAY A BIG THANKYOU TO COLIN FROM THE GIG CLUB AND STEVE FROM THE ROWING CLUB FOR LOOKING AFTER US SCURVY SEA DOGS. WE PRESENTED THE MAYOR WITH OUR SCROLL OF APOLOGY AND BEGGAR ME IF HE DIDN'T PRESENT US WITH A PLAQUE OF THE TOWNS CREST! THAT BE GOING ON THE WALL OF THE JOLLY SAILOR
COLIN ALSO DONE US A CRACKING FRY UP TO START DAY 8 OF OUR VOYAGE.
IT WAS A MORNING FULL OF SURPRISES AS WHEN WE WENT TO BOARD ARRYPAYE BBC COUNTRY FILE WAS FILMING NEARBY AND US SONS OF DOGS HAD OUR PICTURE TAKEN WITH T.V PRESENTER MATT BAKER!
THEN TO TOP THE CREWS MORALE EVEN MORE IT CAME TO LIGHT THAT JIM MURPHY HAD POOKY MOOKYS NOO NOO IN HIS CAR ALL ALONG! TWAS HEART-WARMING TO SEE POOKY REUNITED WITH HIS NOO NOO.
WE LEFT DARTMOUTH UNDER A BRIGHT BLUE SKY AND THOUGHT IT BE A PERFECT DAY. HOW WRONG WE WHERE, AS IN THE COURSE OF OUR VOYAGE SUPPLIES WHERE RUNNING LOW AND THE CONSTANT HEAT WAS BECOMING UNBEARABLE, SEA GULLS HOVERED OVER HEAD READY TO FEED OF OUR EXHAUSTED CREW AT ANY TIME, I CHECKED OUR SUPPLIES AND FOUND WE WHERE DOWN TO SEVERAL ASSORTED FLAVOURED FLAPJACKS AND A LITRE OF WATER! POOKY MOOKY TRIED IN VAIN TO CATCH SOME FRESH FISH, HURRAH THE CREW SHOUTED AS POOKY CAUGHT A MACKEREL TWAS  SMALL ENOUGH TO KEEP ROGER THE CABIN BOY ALIVE FOR AT LEAST 4 HOURS, BUT THEN THE CREW COULD ONLY GASP IN HORROR AS POOKY MOOKY DROPPED IT WHENCE IT CAME, AS CAP'N I MANAGED TO CONTROL THE FRENZIED ATTACK OF ROGER THE CABIN BOY AS HE WATCHED HIS LIFELINE SWIM AWAY INTO THE MURKY DEPTHS. THIS WILL NOT DO I SAID AS WE RUBBED SUN TAN LOTION INTO EACH OTHER RATIONED THE FLAPJACKS AND PRESSED ON TO REACH EXMOUTH UNDER THAT NON FORGIVING SUN. CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE AND THIS SWEATY, SMELLY CREW OF ARRYPAYE PULLED TOGETHER AND DESPITE THE HALLUCINATIONS AND OUTBREAKS OF DYSENTERY WE EVENTUALLY REACHED THE BEACH AT EXMOUTH WHERE THE NATIVES APPEARED FRIENDLY AND HELPED US WEARY SEA DOGS PULL THE BOAT CLEAR OF THIS NEAR BOILING OCEAN.
TONIGHT WE BE PILLAGING THE BRASSHOUSE IN EXMOUTH AND PREPARE TO SPEND ANOTHER NIGHT UNDER CANVAS, WELL THEY ARE I'M IN THE CAMPER AGAIN AND ALTHOUGH IT IS COMFORTABLE A I FIND MYSELF WRESTLING WITH MY CONSCIENCE AS TO WETHER I SHOULD SLEEP IN THE TENT WITH MY CREW BUT THEN I REMEMBER HOW MUCH CHILLI THEY HAVE CONSUMED AND THINK BETTER OF IT.
WILL UPDATE YE ALL TOMMOROW, CAP'N LONG GONE.  

         

         

CAPTAINS LOG DAY 7 - 21ST MAY 2010
 
AFTER AN EVENING IN SALCOMBE WHERE WE WHERE FED AND WATERED AT THE KINGS ARMS BY A JOVIAL INNKEEPER BY THE NAME OF NEIL, I HASTEN TO ADD IF YE ARE EVER IN SALCOMBE VISIT THE KINGS ARMS AS WE HAD ONE OF THE BEST FISH SUPPERS EVER! THE CREW HEADED FOR BED AND AFTER CHURCHILL(GREG) DISABLED A MAY BUG WITH A BADMINTON RAQUET ALL WAS QUIET BUT FOR THE SNORING WHICH WAS DISTRESSING THE CATTLE IN THE FARM NEXT DOOR.
WE AWOKE TO A BRIGHT SUNNY DAY AND HEADED BACK INTO SALCOMBE FOR BREAKFAST AND TO CONTINUE OUR VOYAGE.
THE SCURVY CREW OF ARRYPAYE WHERE IN HIGH SPIRITS AS WE SET OF FOR START POINT THE FIRST STRETCH OF TREACHEROUS WATER ON OUR ROUTE TO DARTMOUTH. HAPPY JOHN VINE WAS LUCKY TO BE ALIVE AND ON THE BOAT DUE TO THE FACT THAT HE HAD TRIED TO GET OUR MOTLEY CREW TO GO JOGGING AT 7 IN THE MORNING. AS THE DAY PROGRESSED AND OUR CREW HAD CONCERNED ME ONCE AGAIN WITH THE PLEASURE THEY TAKE IN RUBBING SUN CREAM IN EACH OTHERS BODIES, WE WHERE HEARTENED BY THE SIGHT OF DOLPHINS ON THE STARBOARD SIDE OF OUR VESSEL, THIS MADE UP FOR THE TAUNTING WE HAD TO ENDURE FROM THAT SCALLYWAG ROD JENKINS ABOUT THE FISHING CAPABILITIES OF THE CREW, MAINLY THE CAPTAIN, WHICH IF THIS PERSISTS HE WILL HAVE TO ENDURE A BARRAGE OF CHURCHILLS SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR! (UNWASHED). WE ALSO HAD THE PLEASURE OF CAPTAIN LA LA KELLAWAYS HARMONIOUS SINGING. OTHER ISSUES WITH THE CREW TODAY IS THE FACT THAT WE NOW KNOW WHY UNCLE ALBERT(MAC)NEVER MADE IT INTO THE MARINES SPECIAL FORCES DUE TO THE FACT HE IS AFFEARED OF SANDEELS AND MANY OTHER CREEPY CRAWLIES. POOKY MOOKY MIKE FEARN NEVER STOPS GOING ON ABOUT HIS BELLY AND HOW HUNGRY HE IS, WE FEAR HE MAY HAVE CONTRACTED WORMS IN MEVAGISSEY! RETT HAS BEEN RENAMED NO TOM RETT AS THE FEARLESS PIRATE THAT HE IS HE IS TERRIFIED OF TOMATOES! I ONLY HOPE THAT THE SPANISH FLEET DOESN'T COME UPON OUR VESSEL ARMED WITH AN ARRAY OF FRESH SALAD. ROGER THE CABIN BOY TOOK THE PEE A LITTLE BIT BY LAYING AT THE BACK OF THE BOAT SUNBATHING WHEN HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN STEERING(HAPPY JOHN THOUGHT THAT ROGER LOOKED VERY INVITING).
AS WE ARRIVED IN DARTMOUTH THE LIFEBOAT CAME OUT TO MEET US AND LEAD US INTO PORT FOR WHICH WE ARE MOST APPRECIATIVE, AND AS WE ARRIVED AT THE HARBOURSIDE COLIN FROM THE GIG CLUB WAS THERE TO GREET US.
TONIGHT WE ARE BEING ENTERTAINED AT DARTMOUTH ROWING CLUB WHERE THE MAYOR WILL BE ATTENDING AND THE WHOLE CREW WILL BE TRYING TO KEEP THE LOCAL LADIES SAFE FROM THE ADVANCES OF UNCLE ALBERT.
I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE SPECIAL MENTION OF CHURCHILL AND NO TOM RETT FOR THEIR ABILTY  TO ROB THE WHOLE OF EVERY TOWN WE PILLAGE IN THE NAME OF CHARITY.
ONE CONCERN I HAVE IS THAT DESPITE THE GROUP SUNTAN LOTION SESSIONS THAT ARE OCCURING ON ARRYPAYE, WE ALL SEEM TO BE SUNBURNT! I WILL UPDATE YE TOMORROW WITH TALES OF THE EVENING AND THE NEXT LEG OF OUR VOYAGE.
YOURS CLOSE TO BEING KEELHAULED, CAP'N LONG GONE.

 

Technology is wonderful these days, being a concerned and anonymous supporter of the brave crew of 'Arrypaye' I have managed to hack into NASAs satellite imagery covering the English channel to watch our intrepid band of finely tuned nautical athletes battling the toughest conditions that the English channel can throw at them. I was expecting to see heroism, courage in the face of adversity, acts of selflessness and other such fine cliches as befitting these salty-sea hardened pirates from Poole.............but no! as I zoomed the high tech satellites billion dollar lense into sea level I was greated with a bunch of half naked chaps greasing each other down with Hawaiian Tropical Coconut oil, and appearing to love it. I appreciate that the sun can damage even the thickest of piratey skin (and those boys need thick skin......I ask you, 20 days in a boat with Mac, could you do it?!?) so I left the hi-tech space bound telescope locked on expecting to see some fine oarwork shortly, but the pattern that emerged was 20 strokes at the oars followed by 40 strokes around the chests, biceps and glutes of their rowing buddies! I think you get the picture. My warning to the ladies left behind who are close to these men of the sea is to be prepared for a few changes as I believe that new and beautiful relationships are flourishing between the gunnels of 'Arrypaye' as the crew are discovering a deeper meaning to life. Disclaimer:this posting has nothing to do with the concerns of the support crew, and if you blame us, I mean them. Then we, I mean they, will deny it, so there!

 

 CAPTAINS LOG DAY 6 - 20 TH MAY 2010
AFTER A SUCCSESFUL RAID ON PLYMOUTHS BARBICAN WHERE WE WHERE MADE MOST WELCOME BY JOHN AT THE NAVY INN AND PRESENTED A SCROLL OF APOLOGY TO THE DEPUTY MAYOR AND ALSO HAD SEVERAL RUMS TO CELEBRATE PIKEY MIKIES 95TH BIRTHDAY WE SPENT THE NIGHT AT THE ARMY'S CITADEL FOR WE WE ARE MOST GRATEFUL.
WE LEFT PLYMOUTH IN THE EARLY HOURS WITH FAR BETTER WEATHER THAN YESTERDAY, THERE WAS A SLIGHT SEA MIST WHICH HELPED US SNEAK PAST THE BRITISH NAVY AS MANY OF THEIR DESTROYERS AND AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER WHERE ANCHORED IN PLYMOUTH SOUND.
THE VOYAGE WAS FAR MORE COMFORTABLE TODAY WITH ONLY LARGE BUT COMFORTABLE SWELLS. SEVERAL TIMES TODAY WE STOPPED TO CATCH OUR SUPPER AND THE CREW WHERE ELATED WHEN CAPTAIN LONG GONE FISHING ROD IN HAND, MANAGED TO LAND A TIN OF SARDINES! THE CREW WHERE JUBILANT AND PIKEY MIKEY THEN CAUGHT A MACKEREL AND WE NEW WE WOULD NOT BE HUNGRY TONIGHT! THE ONLY SERIOUS INCIDENT TODAY WAS THE FACT THAT DURING OUR FISHING FRENZY HAPPY JOHN VINE WAS SLAPPED SEVERELY WITH A WET POLLOCK! OTHER CREW ISSUES THAT OCCURED WAS THAT CHURCHILL(GREG) WAS UNABLE TO HAVE A WEE WEE IN THE BOAT BECAUSE HE THOUGHT EVERYONE WAS WATCHING AND PIKEY MIKY OR POOKY MOOKY AS HE IS NOW KNOWN, LOST HIS NOO NOO YESTERDAY AND IS FINDING IT HARD TO ACCEPT HE MAY NEVER SEE IT AGAIN. ROGER THE CABIN BOY WAS COXING TODAY AND WAS HAPPY TO HAVE NONE OF THE CREW BEHIND HIM, UNCLE ALBERT(MAC) MANAGED TO STAY DRY ALL DAY AND YELLOW LEG RETT MANAGED TO HAVE A WEE WEE WITHOUT NEARLY FALLING OUT OF THE BOAT. WHEN WE REACHED SALCOMBE WE WHERE MET BY MEMBERS OF THE R.N.L.I. AND NEIL THE LANDLORD OF THE KINGS ARMS WHO HAS MADE US MOST WELCOME AND HAS PROMISED US A FISH SUPPER TONIGHT. WE WILL BE SLEEPING UNDER CANVAS TONIGHT, WELL THE CREW WILL BE, THE CAP'N IS IN THE CAMPER VAN. AS HAS BEEN THE CASE SINCE THE START OF OUR VOYAGE SCURVY ROD JENKINS(WHO THOUGHT WE COULDN'T CATCH FISH), CAPTAIN LA LA KELLAWAY AND RELIABLE CHRIS(OUR LAND SUPPORT) HAVE BEEN AWESOME AND A CRUCIAL PART OF OUR VOYAGE BUT UNFORTUNATELY THEY AREN'T AS GOOD LOOKING AS THE CREW OF ARRYPAYE.  I WILL UPDATE YE ALL TOMORROW WITH TALES OF AN EVENING IN SALCOMBE AND OUR NEXT LEG TO DARTMOUTH.
YOURS NEARLY THROWN OUT OF THE BOAT ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS, CAP'N LONG GONE LAMBERT.  

     

CAPTAINS LOG DAY 5 -  19TH MAY 2010
AFTER CLIMBING THE BIGGEST HILL IN CORNWALL THE CAPTAIN AND CREW HAD A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP AND ROSE EARLY TO SLOG DOWN THE HILL, HAVE A BACON BUTTY AND LEAVE PORT ON BOARD ARRYPAYE.  TWAS A MISTY, WET AND WINDY START AS WE CREPT OUT OF FOWEY THEN OUT OF THE MIST BEHIND US CAP'N KELLAWAY EMERGED ON OUR SECOND SUPPORT VESSEL ALL THE CREW WHERE HEARTEND AND BURST INTO SONG AS CAP'N KELLAWAY RESEMBLED LA LA FROM THE TELETUBBIES IN HIS BRIGHT YELLOW OILSKINS!
AS WE LEFT THE SHELTER OF FOWEY HARBOUR WE ENTERED THE WORST SEA WE HAVE ENCOUNTERD YET AND BEGAN THE 6 HOUR SLOG TO PLYMOUTH.  WE SOON REALISED WHY WE TOOK UNCLE ALBERT(MAC) ON THIS VOYAGE AS HIS YEARS OF MILITARY TRAINING PAID OF AS HE MANAGED TO THROW HIMSELF IN FRONT OF EVERY WAVE THAT CAME IN THE BOAT SACRIFICING HIS OWN COMFORT FOR HIS FELLOW CREWMEN(IT WAS ALSO VERY FUNNY!) PIKEY MIKEY(OR POOKY MOOKY AS THE GERMAN TOURISTS CALL HIM) WAS VERY EXCITABLE AS TODAY IS HIS 73RD BIRTHDAY AND WE WILL BE CELEBRATING AT THE NAVY INN ALONG WITH THE MAYOR IN PLYMOUTHS BARBICAN.
GAY RAY LEFT US TODAY AND ROGER THE CABIN BOY HAS PERKED RIGHT UP AGAIN(HAPPY JOHN VINE IS STILL UNINTERESTED AT THIS TIME) I THINK HE IS HOPING ONCE JOHNS HAD A FEW RUMS NORMAL SERVICE WILL RESUME.
LATER IN THE DAY DISASTER NEARLY STRUCK AS SHIP RETT NEARLY WENT OVERBOARD WHILST TRYING TO HAVE A WEE WEE, LUCKILY HE RECOVERD HIS STANCE BUT IS NOW KNOWN AS YELLOW LEG RETT!
DUE TO BAD WEATHER WE WHERE UNABLE TO STOP AND CATCH OUR SUPPER BUT THE GENEROUS HOST AT THE NAVY FED US ALL SUPRISE SUPRISE CHILLI AGAIN! CHURCHILL(GREG) WAS ELATED BUT MYSELF AND THE CREW WERN'T AS HE PERPETUALY BROKE WIND FOR THE WHOLE SIX HOURS OF ROWING.
TONIGHT IS ALSO WORRYING AS WE ARE STAYING IN A MILITARY BASE WITH REAL GUNS AND WEAPONS, I FEEL IT WILL BE HARDWORK BABYSITTING THIS CREW OF VAGABONDS AFTER THEY HAVE HAD A FEW DRINKS FOR POOKY MOOKYS 97TH BIRTHDAY.
WILL UPDATE YE ALL TOMORROW ON THE ONGOING VOYAGE OF ARRYPAYE AND HER CREW OF SOCIAL MISFITS.
    LONG GONE LAMBERT     

                      

CAPTAINS LOG DAY 4 -18TH MAY 2010

AFTER A HEAVY NIGHT OF DEBORCHARY IN MEVAGISSEY AND A DARN FINE BREAKFAST OF WHICH CHURCHILL(GREG) CONSUMED SEVERAL IN RAPID SUCCESION! WE LEFT UNDER BLUE SKIES AND MADE OUR WAY TO FOWEY. ARRYPAYE HAD A NEW CREW MEMBER TODAY AS GAY RAY MURPHY JOINED US TO DO A FEW DAYS CREWING. AFTER SEVERAL MILES WE DECIDED TO FISH FOR OUR SUPPER AND THANKFULLY THE GALLEON PUB IN FOWEY FED OUR SCURVY CREW AS WE MANAGED TO CATCH NOTHING AT ALL! PIKEY MIKEY IS GETTING EXCITED AS TOMORROW WE CELEBRATE HIS BIRTHDAY IN PLYMOUTH HE TRIES TO TELL US IT'S HIS 48TH BUT WE SUSPECT IT'S NEARER TO 58. NOT SURE IF ANY OF US WILL BE FIT STATE TOMORROW AS CAMPSITE IS AT TOP A MOUNTAIN! THANKFULLY THE SITE HAS A LAUNDRY AND WE MANAGED TO WASH OUR ROWING ATTIRE WHICH WAS BEGINING TO SMELL LIKE A RANCID GOATS BUTT! CHURCHILL AND SHIP RETT MANAGED TO PILLAGE PRETTY MUCH ALL OF FOWEY INCLUDING THE DAPHNE DEMAIRIER FESTIVAL. OTHER GOOD NEWS IS ROGER THE CABIN BOY IS FEELING FAR MORE SETTLED NOW HAPPY JOHN VINE HAS AVERTED HIS ATTENTIONS TO GAY RAY. TOMORROW IS A LONG ROW BUT WE ARE ALL TIRED BUT IN HIGH SPIRITS AND WILL BE MEETING THE MAYOR IN PLYMOUTH AND PARTAKING IN MORE DRINKING FOR PIKEY MIKEYS 62ND BIRTHDAY. TONIGHT I AS CAPTAIN WILL BE SLEEPING IN COMFORT AND MY CREW OF SEA DOGS ARE UNDER CANVAS, FOR THEM I FEEL SORRY AS CHUCHILL(GREG) CONSUMED COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SPICEY CHILLI SO I FEEL THE AIR COULD BE VERY FRAGRANT! OTHER GOOD NEWS IS THAT PIKEY MIKEYS BUM BLISTER IS HEALING WELL, THE WEATHER HAS BEEN KIND AND THE CREW HAVN'T KILLED ME YET. I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO MENTION SCURVY ROD JENKINS ON HIS SUPPORT BOAT AS HE IS DOING A STERLING JOB BUT I WOULD ASK HIM TO STOP DRYING HIS UNDERPANTS ON THE RAILS OF HIS YACHT AS WE KEEP THINKING THIS IS SOME KIND OF SEMAPHORE AND SPENT 45 MINUTES TRYING TO DECODE HIS Y-FRONTS. I WILL UPDATE YE SOON WITH TALES OF OUR VOYAGE TO PLYMOUTH THROUGH SHARK INFESTED WATERS AND CUNNING WAYS TO AVOID THE SPANISH AND FRENCH FLEET.

P.S AS I SIT AND WRITE THIS LOG IN MY NICE WARM CAMPER VAN, IT HAS JUST STARTED TO P#*; DOWN WITH RAIN, I REALLY DO FEEL SORRY FOR MY TENTED CREW!

 YOURS WARM AND DRY,  CAP'N LONG GONE.

CAPTAINS LOG DAY 3 - 17TH MAY 2010
AFTER A NIGHT OF RUM AND SEA SHANTYS AT THE SHIPWRIGHTS IN FALMOUTH THE CREW INVADED A LOCAL DELICACY SUPPLIERS WHERE WE TRIED A NEW FANGLED ITEM CALLED A KEBAB, WE THEN RETIRED TO A LOCAL HOSTELERY TO HAVE A GOOD NIGHTS KIP. WE ROSE EARLY AND WHERE OVERCOME WITH EXCITEMENT AS NOT ONLY WAS IT A LOVELY SUNNY DAY BUT THEY ALSO HAD A PIRATES FAVORITE BREAKFAST OF 'FROSTIES' AND A GOOD OLD FRY UP. WE LEFT FALMOUTH AT 9.30 AND STARTED OUR JOURNEY TO MEVAGISSEY, THE SUN WAS SHINING AND I WAS A LITTLE CONCERNED AT THE SIGHT OF PIRATES RUBBING SUN CREAM INTO EACH OTHER, BUT WE PRESSED ON AND DESPITE THE GLORIOUS WEATHER HAPPY JOHN VINE AND ROGER THE CABIN BOY FELL OUT SO OUR PLANS OF A WEDDING AT SEA HAVE BEEN SHATTERED. WE TOOK A SHORT BREAK AND CAPTAIN LONG GONE DECIDED TO CATCH SUPPER AND PUT ON A VERY IMPRESSIVE FISHING DISPLAY AND HOOKED A RECORD BREAKING FISH WHICH UNFORTUNATELY EVADED CAPTURE AND WAS CAUSING MUTTERINGS OF MUTINY AS SHIP RETT WAS CLAIMING I CAUGHT THE BOTTOM. THIS WASN'T HELPED BY THE TAUNTS OF PASSENGERS ABOARD THE SAFETY BOAT SKIPPERED BY THAT SCURVY ROD JENKINS AS THEY WAVED GLASSES OF WINE AT MY CREW AND IT WAS AS MUCH AS I COULD DO TO RESTRAIN THEM FROM BOARDING CORK MALT AND GET TOTALY WASTED. WE ARRIVED IN MEVAGISSEY AND AFTER SORTING DIGS WE WHERE MADE WELCOME BY THE PIRATES OF ST.PIRAN WHO ENTERTAINED US WITH SEA SHANTYS AND MUCH BEER. THEN THE SHARKSFIN PUB RUN BY A DODGY LANDLORD KNOWN AS PAUL HENSHAW LAID ON ENTERTAINMENT WITH A BAND CALLED THE PYRATES AND JOVIAL FUN WAS HAD BY ALL. UNCLE ALBERT(MAC) WAS GETTING VERY FRIENDLY WITH ONE OF THE LOCALS AND CHURCHILL WAS CONCERNED HE WOULD HAVE TO FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO SLEEP, BUT ALL WAS WELL AND NO TRACE OF THE POX HAS BEEN BROUGHT ABOARD ARRYPAYE. WILL UPDATE YE ALL SOON, CAP'N LONG GONE LAMBERT.  

CAPTAINS LOG DAY 2 - 16TH MAY 2010
THE MOTLEY CREW OF ARRYPAYE AROSE AT 6AM AFTER AN EVENING OF FEASTING AND RUM AT CADGWITH COVE AND THE SKY WASN'T LOOKING FRIENDLY BUT BEING THE SEA FARING DOGS THAT WE ARE A TIME WAS AGREED TO SET OF ON THE SECOND LEG OF OUR VOYAGE. PIKEY MIKEYS BOTTOM WAS BLISTERED AND SORE AND ROGER THE CABIN BOY HAD MANAGED A WHOLE NIGHT AVOIDING HAPPY JOHN VINES ADVANCES. AFTER A TRULY PIRATICAL CREAM TEA WE SET OFF AT MID DAY  AND HAD FOUR HOURS OF ROWING THROUGH RAIN AND STRONG WINDS, AS WE REACHED FALMOUTH THE SUN BROKE THROUGH AND A GRATEFULLY RECEIVED RECEPTION WAS WAITING ON THE QUAYSIDE.TONIGHT WE BE DRINKING AND ENJOYING THE SINGING OF THE LOCALS. TOMORROW WE SET OF TO MEVAGISSEY WITH BETTER WEATHER WE HOPE, ALL THE CREW ARE STILL IN GOOD SPIRITS DESPITE THE SINGING OF MAC AND GREG AND HAVE MADE EAR PLUGS FROM RUM CORKS. WILL UP DATE YE TOMORROW.

CAPTAINS LOG DAY 1 - 15TH MAY 2010

THE CREW WHERE ROUSED AT THE CRACK OF DAWN WITH A RIGHT GOOD CUPPA ABOARD THE CORK MALT OUR SAFETY BOAT. THEN AFTER A HEARTY FRY UP ARRYPAYE WAS LAUNCHED AT PENZANCE SLIPWAY IN READYNESS TO START OUR EPIC VOYAGE. WE SET OFF AT 8AM AND HEADED FOR THE LIZARD THE MOST SOUTHERLY POINT OF BRITAIN UNDER A BRIGHT BLUE SKY AND SUNSHINE. WITH THE WIND UP OUR ASS WE MADE GOOD TIME AND AFTER 4 AND A HALF HOURS WE REACHED THE INFAMOUS LIZARD. DURING THESE HOURS OF ROWING WE PAST THE TIME WITH JOVIAL BANTER AND WHERE SHOCKED BY THE ADVANCES OF HAPPY JOHN VINE TO ROGER THE CABIN BOY. AS HIGHLY HONED ATHELETES WE ONLY STOPPED ROWING FOR A FAG BREAK. ONE HOUR AND TWENTY MINUTES LATER WE REACHED OUR FIRST DESTINATION CADGWITH COVE. WE BEACHED ARRYPAYE AND WHERE MET BY SOME OF THE LOCALS AND SHOWN GREAT HOSPITALITY. TONIGHT WE BE DRINKING AND SUFFERING THE MOANINGS OF PIKEY MIKEY AND HAPPY JOHN WHO HAVE BLISTERS ON THEIR BOTTOMS AND ASKED ROGER THE CABIN BOY TO APPLY MEDICATION. UNCLE ALBERT(MAC) CAUGHT CRABS SEVERAL TIMES TODAY AND WON THE DAILY CATCH A CRAB TROPHY. I WILL REPORT IN TOMMOROW WITH DETAILS OF OUR ONGOING ADVENTURE. CAPTAIN LONG GONE LAMBERT.